Meanwhile, chez Mia, things are reaching a tipping point where we either strap in and try to enjoy our wild ride or we fall face first and slide all the way down the hill on our noses. I am naturally inclined toward the former, but sometimes my loved ones seem to insist on doing the latter.
The secret to surfing is being on top of the wave, not standing in front of it waiting for it to knock you down and roll you on the beach. I promise you that paddling out ahead of the crest is 100% worth it, even if it’s a lot of tiring work upfront. This is where people tell you to “trust the process,” but I am going to say, “trust me, getting rolled is not as much fun as it sounds.”
Being proactive as soon as a problem arises will save you so much trouble in life that you’ll start to believe you have discovered some kind of secret life hack instead of the obvious common sense it should be. An example: one of my kids went through a very turbulent time as a tween and refused to go to school, lashing out violently if anyone tried to make them. I went to the school immediately and told them what was going on and we worked together on identifying resources and services to help. The alternative would have been waiting on a nasty letter from the school and truancy proceedings.
Hiding that you are in a situation that you can’t handle alone and refusing to admit that things are going badly will only come back to bite you on the butt. Worse, it will gnaw on your butt before it goes in for The Big Chomp.
Anyway, to return to the initial topic, we are in dire need of a reset, a fresh start to make sense of our lives, but my husband is clinging fiercely to what we have and not facing the reality that our income does not match our expenses. It’s well beyond time to think about it. We need to do something before the axe falls.
Unfortunately, a major change is not possible in a marriage without buy-in from your partner. You can’t make that horse drink if it won’t even admit to itself that it is thirsty, no matter where you lead it. It’s exhausting.
That is all.
The Mia Experiment 