I had to break out the walker two days ago, and things have only gotten worse since then. I am getting into wheelchair territory with the pain the last few days.
Today was the worst. I somehow managed to climb the stairs to the bedroom but it took 20 minutes and every step of the way was curse-worthy agony. Then I had to come back down later to get my daughter from work.
Now I am sitting alone in my car, dreading the walk and stairs into the house. I don’t love this part of my life.
And it is a reality check in the worst way. I have lost weight, but my joints continue to deteriorate. I have better days, but the bad days are always lurking nearby.
I’ve also had a few accidents over the last few days. I guess I am still not housebroken. Humiliating at best.
This is why I have to make something happen on the business front. The reality is that my SSDI doesn’t even begin to cover my expenses, I can’t get SSI because of weirdness on the financial front (story for another post), and I am not going to be able bodied any time soon or maybe ever.
I have to accept that even if I have surgeries to fix my knees and back, we’re looking at that whole process stretching out over the next couple of years. Assuming, of course, that Medicaid is okay with two knee replacements for someone who is only 53. I am quite young for the surgeries I need.
Of course, I was quite young for my cataract surgeries as well. I seem to be aging at an alarming pace. Fun.
I’m not going to let this post end on a downer though. I am even more motivated to find a way to make some decent money from job and a business. I know it can be done. Other people have done it.
The Mia Experiment 