Beginning at the end…
I keep finding articles online that talk about all the advantages you have because of being financially stable later in life, whether you want to start a new career, adopt a kid, or whatever. Those assumptions make me feel like a complete loser. I have never been financially stable. I feel like I have more in common with Millennials and GenZ than I do with my GenX peers who have a 401k, a house, and whatever their version of a white picket fence is. I didn’t get through college until my mid-40s and the years since then have been plagued with complications and difficulties. A career path is not something I have yet been able to manifest.
This post is for the late starters, the late bloomers, those who stayed home with kids or struggled to get off the ground and those who don’t have all that luxurious velvet cushioning to fall back on if things continue to not work out the way they wanted them to. This will not be the typical article telling you to monetize your hobbies and follow your passions. It will just be the lessons I have learned the hard way.
I sincerely hope that other people will speak up in the comments with their own lessons learned the hard way. Give us all some hope that we’re not too late to get into the party.
First, Here’s a mindset check you may or may not need. I needed it, but I had to figure these things out the hard way, unfortunately for me. There are two great things about getting older: You’re hopelessly uncool, so you don’t have to care what people think about you anymore, and you’re finally wise enough to learn from other people’s mistakes. I mean, I didn’t learn these things that way, but you’re probably wiser than me.
- You are a warrior. Get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself that you can handle what life is throwing at you, and furthermore, you have no choice. Then strap on your sword and go to battle– show up on time and prepared for whatever that day brings. And if you get to the end of the day and find yourself crawling back home, battered and beaten by the day, remember…
- Failure is just a phase. Not only is it just a phase, it is a necessary phase. Yes, a few blessed people seem to be able to avoid it, but more often than not, you just don’t know about their failures. Failing sucks, but it is part of the process and…
- Nothing bad happens if you stop being embarrassed by your ignorance and honest mistakes. In fact, good things happen when you stop letting fear of embarrassment hold you back. Also…
- Staying ignorant because you don’t want to look stupid is, in fact, stupid. Ask that question. And if you still don’t understand, ask it a different way until you do understand. A few people might become impatient with you, but that’s a character flaw on their part that they need to work on. In fact…
- The overwhelming majority of people are ready, willing, and able to help you if you’re willing to ask. People like helping other people. It makes them feel good. I am not talking about borrowing money from your Uncle George. I am talking about admitting that you can’t do something and need some assistance or taking your mistakes to the person who can fix them as soon as you become aware of them. It’s not comfortable all of the time, and I still struggle with feeling like I am imposing on people when I go to them for help, even though they are truly happy to help me most of the time.
You may be sitting there thinking that you know all those things, and that’s awesome. Some of you may be reading this and wondering where your list of “10 jobs that will pay you thousands to have arthritis” is… It’s not here. At least not yet. This is just Part One, the mind-reset, paving the way for Part Two, the reality check, before we get down to what you can do about it in Part Three.
If you do know of a job that will pay me thousands to have disabling arthritis, please let me know! Here I am having it for free this whole time.
The Mia Experiment 